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Tezuka101Most abstinence programs say that condoms are "bad" and should not be used, since they shouldn't be having sex.Seriously.
Is it still being taught that way though? The only way I'd know is if someone came into this topic and backed up my thought.
I really don't understand why it can't be taught all under one roof. I'm sure some people would voluntarily save themselves for marriage , and other people would like to have premarital sex (well not thought out like that but you know, it could happen).
msgits just a ring, how many married people break their bond every day?
wat
Replying to #41
i mean married people that have vowed to be faithful etc etc, a ring doesn't stop them cheating
Replying to #42
Oh okay, I got confused as I though of the phone when you said ring.
NatewlieYou said "if their old enough" in your last post, then you say that they shouldn't say that?
"Sad thing is, even if they are old enough.. some of them aren't mature enough to do the act (have sex).."
It does sound like I am contradicting myself but I am thinking about it as if it was my own child. While she/he believe that they are mature enough, she/he still need to be over 18. Its an added condition while living under my roof.. but when she/he hit 18, I have no control over what they do because the US considers that 18 year old an adult by law.. now, if they're still living under my roof.. well, I feel that I still have control over them because I'll be damned if I walk in on my kid having sex. It something every parent doesn't want to experience.. LOL!
But that is how I agree with gaynorvader on this, it really does depend on maturity.. but I also believe that age is a good factor for over protective parents.. because sometime in your life, your going to be a parent.. and you're going to be over protective.
AND DERAILED AGAIN! XD
Natewlie · #41Is it still being taught that way though? The only way I'd know is if someone came into this topic and backed up my thought.
Although not backing up my statement 100%, the artical on Wikipedia:
Wikipedia: Sexual Abstinence - Modern Abstinence MovementsIn spite of these criticisms, federal government support has made abstinence the de facto focus of sex education in the United States, so that opponents frequently adopt the line that abstinence education is acceptable only if it is combined with other methods, such as instruction in the use of condoms, and easy availability thereof. Most nations of Western Europe use more comprehensive measures, and in sharp contrast to the heated discussion in the U.S., abstinence is hardly discussed as an educational measure.
The abstinence programs does not talk about condoms or the use of one, so other programs have been forced to do it for them.
Also it would be interesting to note:
Wikipedia: Sexual Abstinence - Modern Abstinence MovementsAbstinence is recommended as a way to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Without sexual contact, it is virtually impossible to conceive a child (other than through artificial insemination). By avoiding exposure of the sexual organs to other people, one will also avoid the sexual transmission of many diseases (STDs). Note, however, that many STDs can also be transmitted non-sexually. Some STDs (including genital warts due to human papillomavirus) are passed through skin-to-skin contact, and are either not prevented by using a condom, or such prevention is only partially effective. Further, some have noted that many do not consider oral sex or similar acts to violate abstinence. One study states that 55 percent of college students claiming abstinence had, indeed, performed oral sex. Many of these acts can transmit STDs
Just to show you some of the ignorance involved with abstinence programs.
BeaverDono · #44"Sad thing is, even if they are old enough.. some of them aren't mature enough to do the act (have sex).."
It does sound like I am contradicting myself but I am thinking about it as if it was my own child. While she/he believe that they are mature enough, she/he still need to be over 18. Its an added condition while living under my roof.. but when she/he hit 18, I have no control over what they do because the US considers that 18 year old an adult by law.. now, if they're still living under my roof.. well, I feel that I still have control over them because I'll be damned if I walk in on my kid having sex. It something every parent doesn't want to experience.. LOL!But that is how I agree with gaynorvader on this, it really does depend on maturity.. but I also believe that age is a good factor for over protective parents.. because sometime in your life, your going to be a parent.. and you're going to be over protective.AND DERAILED AGAIN! XD
Ever thought that they don't have to be at a house, or your house to have sex? My husband, and I before we were married had more sex at his house, then my house, guess who's parent/s were more strict about sex and rules? His house. Really, if it's a 'rule' and the teenager breaks that rule, would they be inclined to tell you? Uh, no. They would hide it. This also comes with an adage, when kids are loud, everything's okay, when it's quiet, there's trouble. Even though I'm stretching the meaning of the saying, it holds true.
My hubby and I never ever told his mom about us having sex (despite us being together for around a year, you'd think she'd figure it out). Nope, came to a surprise when she found out through my parents. How'd she find out from my parents? Cause I've talked to my parents about it, they asked and I told (as a teen, I was extremely uncomfortable about it), why did I tell them? Because I felt that it was comfortable to tell them since I knew they wouldn't really like the idea but they didn't forbid it or hate me because of it. And because of that decision of my telling them, they told me about birth controls, condoms (we knew about that beforehand) and all that fun stuff associated with sex. I wouldn't have been on birth control if it weren't for them.
Also imo, once a child goes into adolescence, the parent has the
illusion of control. Depending on the child.
How come I can walk in to my parents having sex but not the other way around? :(
Imo, maturity doesn't define when or what a person is going to have sex. A person who is immature, shouldn't have sex, but they can still have it, a person who is mature can handle sex, but they can still decline or accept it. I don't really see how maturity and sex coincide, as it's more of a case of sluttiness vs what the opposite of slut is.
We weren't taught abstinence in high school sex ed, at least not as much as you people seem to have been. The gist I got from it was "look, the best way not to run into any of these problems is by keeping it in your pants, but it's your choice. Now we're going to teach you how to put a condom on this wooden phallus".I'm inclined to agree with whoever said it's a fad. Purity rings ARE a fad. It's a bit pretentious really, and because young Christian stars are doing it their fans (impressionable teenage girls for the most part) are likely to do it as well. But although the rings are a fad, the ideal behind them is not. It's an admirable initiative, but I honestly don't see why some sex ed doesn't cover the other bases.And for the record I am totally FOR premaritial sex. Especially with me.
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Replying to #47
Yay for sex and debauchery.
Replying to #48
Oh man, you should see my draft schedule for visiting the States. Those are the only two entries over like four weeks.
Natewlie...
Imo, maturity doesn't define when or what a person is going to have sex. A person who is immature, shouldn't have sex, but they can still have it, a person who is mature can handle sex, but they can still decline or accept it. I don't really see how maturity and sex coincide, as it's more of a case of sluttiness vs what the opposite of slut is.
A person should have to be mature enough to accept all the consequences sex brings, from emotions raised to the remote chance of pregnancy. Personally I'm abstaining from sex until I have a steady income as I don't think even the 0.1% chance or whatever is worth it for something I won't miss until I try it the first time. That's just me though.
Replying to #50
Key word, should.
What I meant was that a person that's immature can still have sex.. ehhh
Forget what I said I just realized it was silly.
I do agree with you Natewlie on the whole maturity now that I think about.. I think the maturity thing goes with the choice of do they or do they not have sex, will they be responsible enough to use some kind of protection if they do.. etc. Not if they are mature enough to have sex.. maybe mature enough to weight the consequence..EDIT:
(gaynorvader beat me to it.. LOL!)But that does make me wonder, I don't even know why I find it weird walking in on my kid having sex with someone.. but walking in on your own parents doing it isn't as weird... you figure it would be..
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BeaverDonoI do agree with you Natewlie on the whole maturity now that I think about.. I think the maturity thing goes with the choice of do they or do they not have sex, will they be responsible enough to use some kind of protection if they do.. etc. Not if they are mature enough to have sex.. maybe mature enough to weight the consequence..But that does make me wonder, I don't even know why I find it weird walking in on my kid having sex with someone.. but walking in on your own parents doing it isn't as weird... you figure it would be..
What I meant so say how that people who are mature should be the ones having sex, but that's just that, it's should. There's still a lot of immature people who do have unprotected sex even if they know better, then there's also the people who are misinformed or don't know any better. Sure, people who are 'mature' can weigh the consequences out, but that doesn't mean that the people who are immature don't, but they still do it anyways.
Although with the immature people, it's still a case of sluttiness vs whatever.
Kid having sex with someone else, not expected. Parents having sex, expected.
MysticMaja...don't you think that's unfair?
If it works for you, then great. I just think it's unfair.And lol @ Miley Cyrus wearing a purity ring.
I personally wouldn't wear one because while I don't think that people should just go around being promiscuous, I also don't think that pre-marital sex is bad given that it's done by two consenting adults who are responsible and can handle the consequences.
many people who is from my familys heritage have been there done that but for those who have had sex before marriage they are looked upon as dirt and disowned by there family i wouldnt lose my family for shame upon myself thats my choice as a person
Post Merge: [time]1272315710[/time][quote="tehuber1337"]Men can have premarital sex but women can't? That means you're supporting either extramarital sex or homosexuality (or, perhaps, both), which seems to contradict the rest of your beliefs.
Post Merge: [time]1272316142[/time]
my heritage is kinda like a muslims
Replying to #54
Boo for cultural differences!
I personally think that a parent disowning a child for anything means that they're a bad parent. Unless the kid killed or raped someone or something to that effect, I see no reason why to.
Replying to #55
some are disowned .Boys who have same beliefs as my heritage do try it on with you if you reject them they dont try it again they know your a virgin and plan to stay like that untill married but there are some girls who say yeah have me or something to that extent the boys who has had sex with that girl scandalises your name and says your easy and that brings shame to yourself and your family
You can do what you wear the ring or not its your choice.
but that being said I think south park said it best its just a way to sell sex and not be looked down at for doing it.
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rudegal · #56some are disowned .Boys who have same beliefs as my heritage do try it on with you if you reject them they dont try it again they know your a virgin and plan to stay like that untill married but there are some girls who say yeah have me or something to that extent the boys who has had sex with that girl scandalises your name and says your easy and that brings shame to yourself and your family
I lol'd.
That's probably the most disgusting double standard I have ever heard.
