My doleful life

I want to switch schools. I really do. I just hate my old school, the cruel classmates, the boredom of my old school. The building, the dead colours and the events kill me each day slowly. I can not take this school anymore. I realize that I am just wasting my time at this school. It is so dead to me. I'm in the eleventh grade and I want to have an exciting high school. My old school is just dead. I can't make friends much. I have friends but they aren't reliable ones. Backstabbers, I would say. No worthy to be good close friends. I don't understand. Am I weak? Am I too sensitive? Afterall, I give my fullest heart to be good friends with each person. Yet many continue to reject it.None that I can hang out with so easily. i want friends in which I can do things together. Go to parties. Meet girls. And speaking of girls, my school is only boys. Which is worse. I need girls. Not saying girls as a perverted way but I need girls. One can not deprive themselves of the opposite sex. They will turn insane as for both needs each other. I want to have friends that are both girls and guys. I need somebody to talk to for hours while somebody to joke about sex or anything related. I want to have both. I want to have the same things as a normal student. I hate private school. I really do. Lack of fun events and lack of school spirit kills me slowly. At first, I thought i would be awesome to come into that school. Boy, was I wrong.And now, I just want to enter into a public school. Switch mid year so I can atleast have a year and a half of school experience. That's how much i hate this place. I hate the classmates. I hate how they treat me. No matter what I do, I'm always mocked, insulted, made fun of and rejected. But I don't understand. I can make friends easily outside of school. I'm quite normal in fact. Perhaps its just this school. Rumors, lies, and betrayal. I don't understand. maybe I'm stupid or pathetic to be popular around this school. But either way, I'm the same person that I've been before.Now the idea of changing school is quite different from my mother. She perceives it as insulting. I know, i know. Not all public schools are good. But this public school that I want to go to is quite well. I just really want to go to that school. Why can't I go mother? Why are you here to stop me? What matter does it make if I go to that school mid year? I'm aleady a failure in life. My dream is to act yet you insult me and lower my confidence and dignity of acting. No, I'm not going to follow your ways, your wishes. This is my life. I am going to take full control and full direction as long as possible. You may be here to guide me but you are not here to force me. Mother, understand that I will find happiness and peace in my new school. I will find friends, parties, girls, guys, and tons more. I know, I'm a fool and a delusional fool in fact. But I just know that this change of schools will revolutionize my life. I want something new, something fresh. I want to be away from the mockery of my classmates for the past 7 years. Everyday, I feel the lies. It is like a virtual world. The Matrix. It is good yet it is not real. I do not wnat to be lied to anymore. And everyday, I feel suicidal. I want to end my life just to display my suffering inside my heart. But I'm a torn soul. I can not show what I feel. everyday, I put on a mask, one for my siblings, one for my friends, and one for others to think about. I just want to be accepted.....I don't understand, mother. Why are you against it? What, because its prestigious? I don't care! Schools do not matter as long as the grades. Besides, this school is the biggest school in BC. The public school is funded with many equipment that I am interested in working with. They have dances, clubs, newspaper, yearbook..all these things that I want to join yet lack in my private school. Mother, please understand. I know, your reputation is important. But ignore it. Why care about it when your son is in peace? Be happy that I am to succed in a functional school. Be happy.These are my final words. I can not write anymore. I am still in the state of sorrow and grief. I can not stand this any longer. I have to say, this did satisfy me for a bit. I have to admit, I did feel great to pour out my story from my depressing heart. But it is not enough for me to be satisfied. I want to make new friends, not just friends but good friends. And especially good memories. And listen, I am not a child of strange behavior. In fact, come to know me and realize how sane I am. I am not emo, nor suicidal though I do have thoughts of that. You may say that I am unsatisfied and greedy of happiness in life but that may be an opinion. Whatever your thoughts are of I, I appreciate it and take it as a feedback. These words are not created for entertainment. They are true words, words from me, the author of this article.

Sounds like how I used to think before I sat down and said..."Too much want creates sadness and anger".That is what I said when my life was crap, now it's better despite being isolated from people physically (well friend wise...I work with customers but I rather not even talk to them)Anyway, your mother wants what is best education wise, but you obviously need more of a social life with more than just guys, this I understand.Here is a tip-try the spam section and and start chatting with some of us, me being an aussie, I'm friends with people internationally now :)I am surprised you don't try doing things outside of school like sports clubs or even (as I hate to say) night clubs depending on your age...these can be good but you need some mates to help keep things cool.School is not the only option form making friends and a social life, web sites, forums and outside of school as I suggested can help.

a boys' only school? that's the pits man :p
hmm, actually, I would suggest you against switching schools. regardless of how much you want to be in the new school or how good it looks to you at the moment; the grass probably isn't greener on the other side. find some friends outside school, get a girlfriend, find a hobby where you can meet new friends. if you exhaust all other options, THEN you should consider having a talk with your mom.

I went to an all boy's secondary school (high school), and found it to be fitting to me, I had many friends in the local mixed schools, so finding girls to hang around with, was really not much of a problem.

From what I've read.... I think you're a bit shy if you've been mocked your whole life. Because, if you've been mocked, you probably haven't done anything to stop it.You need to loosen up a little, you're stuck in a shell that you can't really get yourself out of. But nothing can be done without hard work and perseverance. But I guess this is all the help I can provide, since I've never been to an all boys school. Just try this: I know not everything you've written is 100% true, since there have to be some good moments, but you need to go outside and make friends. Your friends can't be limited to just your schoolmates, because you can't always rely on them to always be there for you.I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to take your mom's side, since it's a perfectly good education. Besides, you're looking forward to going to public school so much, you're probably gonna be having high expectations. Well don't. Not all public schools are as "prestigious" as the one you are describing you are going to. And honestly, it is insulting...Anyways, for your "social" problems: mall, spam, omegle, chat sites, camp, practically anywhere. Just be confident, no one's gonna talk to a shy guy, because you're gonna have to be the one to engage the conversation.

WARNING : omegle and chat sites are NOT substitutes for real friends.

Fail less. Get a hobby.

hmm...as everyone else said, try doing things outside of school. extra curriculum activities where you can meet other people.Public schools are good (since i go to one) and they cater for my every need. They have committees, SRC and all these other things. Yes, private schools are good but you can get equally better even if you went to a public school.Im against ur mum. I like the way you think about going to a public school.
1. It doesnt cost money unless its for fees and excursions
2. You have both guys and girls
3. It teaches exactly the same things as private schools does even though private schools is a bit more strict i suppose.but hey, what do i know? im in yr 9 =='

I've studied from preschool to HS in a private Catholic school for girls and not having boys in my classes wasn't so bad. Less distractions from my studies. Besides, you have all the time during and after college to meet girls, so don't rush it : )But if not meeting girls really bothers you, you can try organizing soirees with your school's "sister schools" or join workshops where you'll be likely to meet girls your age. Concerts and conventions are good for meeting like-minded people too. If you have relatives your age, you can ask to hang out with them and their friends.

Replying to #9

The only problem with this is it can leave some people socially enept.While my school was mixed, it was mostly guys in my class, and unless they are kids/on msn I have a hard time speaking to a woman at times.Those who been to mixed schools (at least down under) talk to girls at the same level as guys...to the point were they sit, eat, and drink vast amounts of liquer.But then again some of the girls here can sound like guys...a scary thought :(