Lame Insults

Hey you guys, I am a regular ranter on my blog, you guys might like some of them, they are actually pretty good. (or so my friends have told me)
www.skambu.wordpress.com
______________________________ABOUT THIS RANT
- I will be splitting this article into parts throughout this post, so it is easier to navigate.
- I will be adding in a new feature of mine, called Fun Facts, to educate you aswell. (NOT REALLY)
- I will be using more quotes than usual in this rant.
- E-Mail me with ideas. [email protected] Spam me, I delete it + I add you to Yahoo!’s Spammer list, too bad.
________________________
RANT BEGINS NOW. =O
I’m sick to death of jokes about:
People’s mum’s.
Gay people.
Nerds.Woah, you TOTALLY offended me by randomly swearing at me and adding in a member of my family that is completely unrelated to what I said. Dude, that doesn’t even make me blink, it makes me think less of you. Less of you than I already thought of course. Which is already like, negative percentage.
(FUN FACT: A negative percentage is also the IQ of whoever thought up the Wii.)
Here is a basic breakdown of how people have attempted to insult me in real life, and over the Internet. =D
________________________________
BREAKDOWN OF DOUCHEY INSULTS
This is the basic breakdown, followed by how to put it into action!
QUOTE:
You are a goddamn (swear)ing (swear)face!!11eleven You suck so much (swear), it almost makes me want to stop (swear)ing your mum’s (swear). Go give your mum a nice (swear) while she (swears) your small (swear) with her (swear).OK, so, here I go, this is how you would put it into action (FUN FACT: i had actionz wid yo mama.):
You are a goddamn sweating armpitface!!11eleven You suck so much lollipop, it almost makes me want to stop baking your mum’s cake. Go give your mum a nice flowerbasket, while she makes your small mouth open with her freshly baked muffin’s.Now wasn’t that just an eye-opener? Incredible right? By the way that insult is not copyrighted, you may use that formula to attempt to tease any people that are better than you and that you are insecure about.
______________________________________
Moving on.
GAY JOKES?
So, what you’re saying is that I’m gay, because I proved your point wrong and you can’t come up with anything else? You’re saying you’re a close minded egomaniac who can’t come to terms with his own sexuality? You sure as hell are. (FUN FACTS: Something that sure as hell is tasty? Doritos.)
Calling somebody a faggot, makes you look like one huge douchebag. (What what, in YOUR butt? CLICK.)
You think you’re so cool because you can tease somebody, because they have the guts to call themself gay? Get a life. Get over it. You little girl.Quote: All gays are faggots.
That’s usually the best that people can come up with, I am completely serious. (FUN FACT: I hope they aren’t.)
That’s like me saying:
You’re overweight, fatty.
You have a big head, big head face.
You’re ugly, dogface.
You’re tall, tall person.
You eat doritos, you cornchip.
You have no mind, brainless.See what I mean? The definition of douche.
______________________________________
QUOTE: What!! You proved me wrong! That makes you a nerd!
And that makes you a moron.
This has happened to me many a times on the Internet and in real life. I prove somebody wrong, I’m called a nerd. So, if somebody has knowledge about any topic at all, they are a nerd. Woah, then I guess all the football buffs that know stuff about footy are also nerds, I guess you’re a nerd because you know basic math, (I’m guessing, not making a sweeping generalization here about Insulters, that they know Grade 1 math, they might get angry. HULK SMASH!)
See what I mean? Nerd is a made-up word that people use to try and tease people that know more than them.
(FUN FACT: Everybody in the history of the world is a nerd.)
____________________________________
So, overall, what have we learnt from Internet insulters?
That gays are fags. (FUN FACT: All people who say this are directly related to Sherlock Holmes. True story.)
People who swear randomly are right. (FUN FACT: Are also really damn cool.)
Everybody who has lived was a nerd. (FUN FACT: Also includes animals, such as the elusive super squirrel.)Hope you had fun reading this!Tell me if you guys want more.

interesting rant, however, with reference to

Replying to #1

I would just point out the following:

Self-praise is no reccomendation

Now I know it's a blog/blag, and no-one takes said medium particularly seriously, but still you are not really qualified to state that your own articles are good or otherwise, merely by virtue of the fact that you wrote them; that is, the act of writing an article disqualifies you from [critically] assessing the standard of the article. Just thought I'd point that out ;).As I said above, interesting rant.

Skambu · #1See what I mean? Nerd is a made-up word that people use to try and tease people that know more than them.

So true, so true...Guess what, I have been called a nerd just because I knew how to use the Firefox F3 function, and my other friends didn't. This just proves you're right.I'm with you, man.

Thanks you guys.
My friends have told me their good, eh, I've changed it anyway.Thanks for the suggestions.
Do you guys want me to post more in the future?

Sure mate. Yeah, whenever I hurt or piss someone off, they go "You're gay", and I just say "I know, what do you have against gays?". That shuts them down. I know a few people would call me a nerd, since I know about NDS, flashcarts, emulators and so on. But I usually don't come back with comebacks or anything, I let physical pain do the talking for me :P That squirrel is awesome.

Here a nerd is someone who excels in studies. Not necessarily a computer buff, just someone who enjoys & excels in studies as well as reading.Videogamers here are labeled childish, because they think videogames are just for kids.Strange, though with their violent mature content, some ignorant boobs here see the GTA games also as just "kid's games", which is awesome ;D

Yeah, and since I'm a fast typer, at school last week, was typing up some text for my powerpoint, some dickhead calls me a nerd. He got what he deserved hehe.

jc_106 · #3So true, so true...Guess what, I have been called a nerd just because I knew how to use the Firefox F3 function, and my other friends didn't. This just proves you're right.I'm with you, man.

Dude. F3 is so much easier than Ctrl + F. Thanks.

Well.. I hate discrimination in anyway.

Replying to #9

That makes two of us

kamage · #9Well.. I hate discrimination in anyway.

Me to.
Unless shutting down douchebags is discrimination...

Let sleeping dogs lie, they say. I personally wouldn't give a shit about insults / take them to heart. So what if they call me a "nerd"? I'm damn proud of it.
Oh, to the original poster: you actually sound like the douchebags you despise in your rant. Don't get me wrong, it's a good post, but I'd rather skip on the smart-aleck-y bits and stop thinking you are somehow better than them (because by saying so, you are NO better). It's just not a good attitude to have, IMO. Otherwise, interesting read. It's your blog anyways :) .

Yeah but when it comes to discrimination, I consider whoever is being discriminant no better than a Nazi.

We all discriminate.

This is the worst rant I've ever seen.

Replying to #15

Could you at least give me feedback? Geez.Also, yeah, but I'm not being mean to people who don't deserve it.

o.O the link don't work no more. Or content is deleted atleast.

Cool rant. It's all too true, unfortunately.

insults on the internet is very common. people are very easily sidetracked or easily targeted.i one time tried to write an explanation of something and it was a huge write [like 2 paragraphs]. of course you'd expect some sort of grammatical error and other errors. so you post it and you often find someone who says, "now we know who didn't pass ninth grade writing" or "" '' ''english class". do you know how disappointing and inferiating to see that. why?, because they look for not the point of my reason but the point of my mistake in my writing. it's wasted effort.famous picture to describe the people of the internet.
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19/thank god the people on this site tries really hard to prevent this.

I cant believe I just wasted time reading this lol. Lame insult = ignore it and get the fuck over it. Generally people who use such insults are only looking for attention, by ranting about it (and furthermore writing an entire article) you have only given them the attention that they wanted...FAIL.On another note "all gays are faggots", a faggot is actually a small bundle of sticks, usually used to light a fire, example = fail.also depending on how mature you may or may not be: "You are a goddamn sweating armpitface!!11eleven You suck so much lollipop, it almost makes me want to stop baking your mum’s cake. Go give your mum a nice flowerbasket, while she makes your small mouth open with her freshly baked muffin’s."Almost sounds more offensive than when it was full of swear words. And yes sometimes I love to bake your mums cake.